The Prank
by Kaotac
Summary: The Jester Kahless has a surprise for the City of Shallam. His poor daughter gets caught up in the results. An Achaean Bardic Entry.


A/n: This is a story I wrote years ago as an entry in the writing contest for the text game Achaea. It's about the character I play, Kahless, the leader of Shallam at the time, Dresden, and has cameos from Kahless' daughter Puck.

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With a clatter, a large chest fell to the ground in one of Shallam's back alleys. Just above the alley, flying in a chariot pulled by demonic goats stood a tall man, wearing a sleeveless hooded shroud, and laughing his head off before making his way speedily out of Shallam.

In the morning, many Shallamites woke to their telepathic Citizen channel going crazy, "What's this about a chest?", "Where's the chest?", "Has anyone tried to open the chest?"

About an hour after dawn, a Priest by the name of Dresden appeared and took charge, yelling "There's nothing to see here, move along, get going. HOLY CRAP! Who put this chest here?! Everyone crowd around, crowd around!"

She was just about to open it when someone shouted to her, "Wait! There's writing on the side, what's it say?" Dresden turned her head slightly and looked for a moment before saying, "Elium Gatron Iun. It's Mhun, it says "Do not open." Damn it, I want to know what's inside! Oh well, we'll have to leave it. Off you go, everyone."

The crowd slowly left, leaving an angry Dresden staring down at the chest. After about a half-hour of brooding, she walked up to it, almost opening it. She thought better just before it was opened, and cast a locking spell, before walking away angrily.

Meanwhile, in Delos, a tall Mhun with a sleeveless, hooded shroud paced the floor of a room with padded walls. He softly mumbled to himself, punching one of the walls, "What's taking them so long? If I know them, they should be opening it by now! But where are the shouts of outrage? Where are the teams of Shallamese banging on the door? Where is the prank?!"

Sending a telepathic message to his guild mates and trying not to put suspicion on himself, he asked "Anyone know what's going on with that chest? Strange thing, that." A voice in his head told him, "Dresden sent everyone away and put some kind of charm on it, so it can't be opened. I wonder what's in it?"

He never knew if the voices were his guild mates, or just voices in his head. "Probably just someone preying on their paranoia," he replied before closing the link. Continuing his pacing, he again mumbled to himself, "It's almost night. I'm sure someone will open it," then started cackling, which quickly led into a hacking cough.

A small female voice inquired, "Lordfather alright? This one worried."

As night crept across Shallam, a dark figure approached the chest. After removing the locking spell, the chest was opened. Suddenly a large blob of goo rushed out and dragged the dark figure into the streets of Shallam.

People began yelling "What is this?!", "What is what? ARGH!!!!", "Where did this stuff come from?" And "It's gooey!", when the sky suddenly lit up with fireworks that spelled out "YOU HAVE BEEN PRANKED BY.. K-A-H-L-E-S-S WITH HELP FROM.. D-R-E-S-D-E- N!"

In Delos, the dark shrouded figure had moved to an observatory when people started shouting. "KAHLESS! What the hell did you do?!" was the first one which caused the figure to remove his hood and fall to his knees, laughing hysterically.

"Who opened it?" he asked, shouting in return.

"Dresden" was the reply, making Kahless ignore any other shouts and simply roll around uncontrollably, laughing. After a few minutes, he regained his breath and shouted again, "It's only cheese, it'll wash off."

A reply quickly came, simply stating "But the smell!"

Trying not to laugh more, he replied "I knew you would thank me for that. Quite an improvement, eh?" It all became too much for him, and he tuned out the shouts, returning to laughing at the top of his lungs.

A short time later, while Kahless was recovering, a very small person ran into the room and shrieked "Lordfather, the evilbad cheese! This one is covered in it! CHRRR!!"


End file.
